Smashing Lanterns & Chasing Cars: My Chaotic Forza Horizon 5 New Year Accolade Adventure

So here I am in 2025, still obsessively grinding Forza Horizon 5 like it's my part-time job – but hey, at least Series 3 finally dropped! 🎉 Remember when those New Year Accolades teased us during the holiday season? They were just sitting there, locked behind glass like forbidden donuts, while I desperately tried photographing that giant Christmas tree with a Mazda RX-7. Now? Poof! Holiday challenges vanished faster than my motivation on Monday morning. But guess what? Guanajuato's streets are littered with explosive lanterns begging to be smashed, and I've got the digital camo trousers to prove it. Seriously Playground Games, why must you make me destroy festive decorations? Is this how we celebrate 2025? 🙃

Happy New Year! (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Drive into Walls)

Let's start simple because apparently, I need wins where I can get them. The 'Happy New Year!' Accolade is basically the participation trophy of FH5 – just yeet any car into Guanajuato. I used a peel p50 for maximum absurdity. 🚗💨 Fifty Accolade points later, I realized this was the gaming equivalent of getting socks for Christmas. Pro tip? Skip the supercars and grab something ridiculous:

• Lawnmower

• Volkswagen bus

• That three-wheeled monstrosity from the 60s

Head straight to the 'Evolving World' tab to claim rewards – unless you forget like I did, then spend 20 minutes confused. Sound familiar?

Another Lights the Dust! (Confessions of a Lantern Serial Killer)

Now things get spicy! 'Another Lights the Dust!' requires destroying 25 lanterns using ONLY two specific Toyotas: the 2014 Hilux Arctic Truck or 2016 Land Cruiser Arctic Truck. Why Toyotas? Do Japanese trucks hate Mexican New Year decor? 🌮 I picture engineers giggling while coding this. My attempt:

1. Grabbed the Hilux (because bigger = better for carnage)

2. Drove into Guanajuato like a bull at a pottery market

3. Discovered lanterns explode like mini-fireworks – oddly satisfying!

4. Crashed into 14 walls while reverse-donuting around tight alleys

5. Earned camo trousers that make my avatar look like a discount Rambo

Fun fact: These trucks handle offroad like mountain goats on espresso. Perfect for when you inevitably overshoot lanterns and end up in the jungle!

Series 3 Collector (Or How I Sold My Digital Soul for a Lotus)

The big daddy – 'Series 3 Collector'. You need all seven cars released this season. Miss one? Prepare for Auction House price gouging that'd make scalpers blush! Here's the lineup ranked by how hard they made me grind:

That Zenvo took me three days of event grinding! Meanwhile the Lotus Carlton? Pure auction house torture – I paid 2.7M credits because some capitalist wizard listed it at 3AM. 💸

Final Musings from a Sleep-Deprived Driver

So after earning 1,100 Accolade points and trousers I'll never wear outside a virtual festival, I've concluded FH5's New Year challenges are:

✅ Absurdly specific

✅ Weirdly therapeutic (smashing things = stress relief)

✅ Designed to make you yell "WHY?!" at your screen

But hey, that's Horizon's charm right? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hunt down whoever programmed lantern hitboxes. Seriously though, ready to join the madness? Grab your controller and turn Guanajuato into a fireworks show before Series 3 ends – just try not to reverse into a taco stand like I did. 😉

CTA: Drop into comments with your most ridiculous lantern-smashing fail! Did you also accidentally launch your Toyota into the cathedral? Let's compare war stories!